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Fic: this hope inside my hands

Title: this hope inside my hands
Author: K Marie (roguewords)
Rating: PG (just to be safe)
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to those not me.
Summary: If I could hold this hope inside my hands/You'd understand they let us down.
Spoilers: for Exit Wounds.
Author's Note: So much thanks to meredevachon for the beta. Title and summary belong to Fightstar. Written for Dead Letters Variations. Thanks to seperis for that challenge.

To: harkness@torchwood3.org
From: jonesi@torchwood3.org
Subject: Us.


I've set this up to show up after someone (probably Abby, she seems like she'll stick around.) enters the information of my death.

Thank you for everything. Especially not firing me after The Incident.

If I had known it would end this way, I probably wouldn't have changed a thing. Well, one thing. I wouldn't be dead and you wouldn't be alone. It seems easy enough to say, but we both know that it had to happen eventually. God Jack, after losing Owen and Tosh, it seemed like the world should have just ended there. It made sense for Gwen to leave, even if it hurt you more than you'll ever admit. She had Rhys, and later their children to look after. The job was too much—always the risk of death, dismemberment or simply disappearing. Let her know, she'd want to be there for you, even all these years later. Her current contact information is in the former employees file. And thank you for not ret-conning her. We both needed to have someone outside of Torchwood to talk to.

So we rebuilt Torchwood together, just like you had done before. I will still never agree that asking Captain Hart to help us was a good idea. Even if it was. There, you win. John was helpful and we needed him. Considering your five year absence, he was indispensable. You could have called, just once. But no, He needed you and you left. Ianto Jones, still bitter all these years later.

But you came back, and we had good times. New team, Martha dropping in on occasion, even Him, stopping in to help on a case or two.

Let Abby know where to find all of my hidden files, the ones that will let her step into my role more efficiently. I've shown her the ropes over the year or two she's been with us, but the really gritty things I've done alone, like always. She'll need that information. You may need to help her out the first few times, but she catches on quick.

Don't be alone for too long. I love you, Jack. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and the worst.

--Ianto Jones


( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 3rd, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC)
*ouch* This is both painful and sweet. I like that Ianto doesn't sugarcoat anything. Nicely done.
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:23 am (UTC)
Thank you. I don't think Ianto ever would sugarcoat, especially with Jack. It just wouldn't fit in with how he handles the world.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 11:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, this was lovely. Just the right mix of practicality and tenderness.
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
thank you. Ianto has to take care of the everyday stuff, not just Jack.
Jun. 3rd, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
*sighs* yeah. That's pretty much *exactly* how it would be.
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
Thank you! and thank you again for running this challenge, it's been a lot of fun so far.

but yeah. Ianto takes care of Jack. Jack takes care of everyone else, and Ianto takes care of Jack. The End.
Jun. 4th, 2008 12:55 am (UTC)
ohhhh... Ianto! Ouch. That was perfect though, so completely Ianto.
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:29 am (UTC)
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:32 am (UTC)
And thank you again for looking it over. I was terrified that I had totally screwed it up, and it wouldn't sound a thing like Ianto. And thanks for the bit about his name, i was waffling on that.

Thank you!
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:41 am (UTC)
Oh god, that's perfect. And I'm trying not to tear up at work. Dammit. Well done!
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)
I'm sorry! I don't mean to make people cry!

thank you.?
Jun. 4th, 2008 02:50 am (UTC)
No, it's all good! I loved it! The subject line is perfection.

I just get all *hand wavy* when I think about Jack and Ianto in the future, 'cause there's no way it doesn't end without Jack being left. I really liked the matter-of-fact way Ianto sounded in that email. 'Cause they've always known it would come to this. Gotta go, tearing up again. Damn hormones.
Jun. 4th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC)
Oh, nice fic for an interesting challenge! I may have to take this on. Thanks for spreading the word.
Jun. 5th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC)
Thank you! Oh, definitely check out the challenge. it's insanely easy to do. And fun.
Jun. 4th, 2008 11:09 am (UTC)
Ianto Jones, still bitter all these years later.
That sounds a lot like Ianto - not that I blame him.
Jun. 5th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
Oh yay. Because that is my favorite line in this fic, hands down.

Jun. 4th, 2008 12:35 pm (UTC)
Painfully beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Jun. 4th, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
wow. this was so moving and so true to what ianto's thoughs would likely be.
Jun. 4th, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
Ouch. In a good way. A very good way.
Jun. 4th, 2008 09:29 pm (UTC)
Jun. 5th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Oh boy. Absolutely on the mark - angry and tender and bitter and sweet. Just right. Brilliant.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )